An arranged marriage can seem like a dreaded prospect and meeting the other person for the first time can be even more intimidating. What do you say to this person who is going to be your spouse? How do you start the conversation?
These are some basic questions that occur in every person’s mind when they go for a meeting with their future life partner. Needless to say, it can be frustrating to try and figure out what you have to do. In this situation my previous article will surely help you which is about what to ask in an Arrange Marriage First meeting. Here we give you some tips and some valuable questions that you can ask your significant other. They will help you clear the air and will also help you to actually know the other person better.
For the Boy
There are a lot of things that guys should keep in mind, but these few things are an absolute no! Try and stay as far away from them as possible!
There is nothing quite as bad as a person that keeps on self-praising. Nobody really likes a person who goes on about himself endlessly. Your partner will likely end up thinking that you are too full of yourself which will surely be a negative on your part.
What you can do instead: Try a gentle approach and let her validate your accomplishments herself. Try complimenting her instead of yourself. It will work wonders!
It’s never good to judge a person based on first impressions. You don’t know her state of mind or her habits or priorities.
What you can do instead: Give her some time to open up and show what she really is. She might be wearing something that’s odd for you, but she could be the perfect human inside!
- Dress to impress
Yes, we all like to show off our sense of fashion, but you are not supposed to go overboard. Dressing formally won’t impress the other person but is more likely to intimidate them. you can also learn few tips to impress a girl.
What you can do instead: Dress with style but try to keep it informal and cool. There are many ways that you can dress well and still look appropriate for the occasion.
- Hide things
It’s a big no! The girl will eventually find out about it, and it’s only going to be more of a problem to sort it out later.
What you can do instead: Be open to her and let her see what you really are. It’s going to be a lifelong partnership and for both of you to judge whether you are compatible with one another or not, it’s important that you know every aspect of the other person. You can also check our other post on what are the best question to ask a girl while chatting
For the Girl
- Being nosy
Nobody like you to interfere in their business and the guy won’t appreciate it either. Asking intrusive questions and invading into personal matters at such an early stage is really uncomfortable and will send of a negative vibe.
What you can do instead: Start slow with the hobbies. Learn about what they like to do in their leisure time. Try to understand their interests. Plus, don’t let the conversation be one-sided. If the other person is too shy to ask, volunteer your hobbies and interests yourself.
- Judging his payroll
It’s natural to assess the earnings of a person, but asking this bluntly will be very unethical and inappropriate. Don’t be too obsessed with what he earns, chances are he may be in a very good position, but still not have gotten the big break yet!
What you can do instead: Try to play around the idea of his career choice and future plans. Maybe he is planning to move countries. Ask about their goals casually. Let them try to pour it out instead of poking invasive questions at them. The point is not to make it like a job interview and take things lightly. While chatting you also need to know how to accept or responding to a compliment
What Both of you Can Do!
We all know what the traditional questions in every arranged marriage meeting are. However, before that, comes the part where you make the other person comfortable. Remember that the other person is likely to be just as nervous as you are. Those blushes and failed attempts at starting a conversation are all because you are just as intimidating to them at the time, as they are to you. A good conversation starter can be a compliment. You don’t have to be cheesy, but appreciating the little things about their house for instance, or how considerate it was for their parents to set up a meeting, can get you off to a flying start.
Small things like the tone of your voice and how often you smile matter a lot! This is an important thing that many would-be-couples forget. Yes, you are arranged to be married, but that doesn’t mean you have to convert a pleasant dinner into an interview, or even worse, an inquisition. Be gentle, strike up a conversation rather than just fling questions upon them. They don’t say that smile is the shortest distance between two people for nothing. Creating a relaxed atmosphere is the best way to actually know the other person.
There are a ton of questions that you can ask the other person when you are meeting for an arranged marriage. However, you need to set the mood for it to work. Following these tips and questions will help you create a comfortable conversation that will allow you both to know more about one another. So, give these tips a try. They are sure to help you survive and ace that first meeting!