Hookup apps are great not just for meeting new sexual partners but for meeting people you might actually connect with on a deeper level. Sometimes “just sex” turns out to be a whole lot more, sometimes it does not. But, like everything good in life, too much of a good thing can eventually end up being bad. But before we get into it, you have to know that on average, most people just have 3 sexual partners in their entire life.
So if you think you need to up those numbers, make sure you read more about the top hookup apps you can use in 2021 to meet new people.
When Does it Become Too Many?
The number is going to be different for everybody but you may be reaching your limit if:
- You make a chart to keep people straight
- You can’t really remember any detail of your time with most of the people you have hooked up with.
- You are starting to feel guilty, regretful or depressed instead of enjoying meeting new people.
You may also realize that you are looking for something deeper and more meaningful at some point. That may be the time to give those apps a rest.
What are the Real Risks?
Every time that you hook up with a new person you are risking your health and safety at least in some small ways but there may be bigger risks especially for women. Your risks can include:
- Running into an Ex
- Finding someone dangerous
There are ways to mitigate your risks but you can never fully eliminate them. Always use safe sex practices and try to screen your hookups before you go. Try to never invite a stranger to your home if you can avoid that and always let someone know approximately where you will be. Keep your phone with you and have a code word with a trusted friend in case things go sideways on you.
When You are Through With the Hookups Will Your Love Life Be Through, Too?
One day you wake up and realize that you would like to get to know someone for more than some quick sex here and there. Maybe you met someone and it was a hookup at first but then it became something more. What if that person and you start dating? Will your origin story eventually be what drives you apart?
Some people have insecurities and jealousies that will bubble to the surface. Sure, they met you on a hookup app and that was fine at the time but once they decide they have feelings for you those insecurities may make them question you and your intentions. You can only reassure someone so many times before you get fed up and things blow up.
That doesn’t mean that all relationships that start this way are doomed, far from it. It just means that you have to be aware of some of the most common pitfalls and watch out for the red flags and catch those runaway thoughts before they gather enough steam to destroy everything in their path.
How Do You Define Your Relationship?
If you do move past “just hooking up” there will be two main questions that will need answering early. How do you define your relationship and how do you explain how you met to other people? You might both choose to say “an app” and then drop it. No one needs to know any detail that you are not comfortable with giving.
Defining a relationship can be tricky especially in the early stages when you are still learning things about one another. It may feel disingenuous to say “boyfriend/girlfriend” if you don’t know the person’s middle name for instance. That’s fine. There are no hard and fast rules for how you address the person you are with.
Don’t Feel Compelled to “Fall” in Love
If you are comfortable with your life’s decisions, including to remain single then you should continue. If that means that you turn to a hookup app every now and then to meet your physical needs, that should be fine too. Letting society dictate how you should feel and when you should feel that way is a bad idea and can lead to more serious psychological damage. Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into a relationship that you have no interest in having. That’s not fair to anyone.
In the recent years, people have stopped assuming that marriage is the next logical step after completing one’s education. It is thankfully becoming more acceptable to remain single sometimes for the entire lifetime. If you are one of the millions who would rather live alone and seek out company on the occasional basis, you have that option or at least you should.
When Too Much is Literally Too Much
No conversation about too many partners or too much time spent on hookup apps could be complete without touching on the dangers of addiction. Sex addiction is very real and more common than people might think. There are warning signs that you can watch for.
Some of the warning signs of sex addiction are:
- Obsessive, intrusive thoughts of a sexual nature
- Ignoring other activities including work and non-sexual relationships
- An increasing need for riskier behaviors to get the same “thrill”
- Becoming agitated if you have not had sexual activity in shorter periods of time
Like other addictions, sexual addiction can cause your work and family relationships to suffer. You may start avoiding situations that could lead to arousal but not satisfaction because you won’t be able to handle it. You might even start neglecting your personal health and safety as you pursue more and more sex. If this sounds familiar, you can seek help and counseling.
Not All Who Wander are Lost
To end on a positive note, please realize that hooking up doesn’t make you a bad person in any way. What 2 consenting adults do with one another is no one else’s business. If you are satisfied with the time you spend with these people, that can definitely count as your “love life”. If that’s what you want it to be, then by all means enjoy it.