We all get excited about our weddings. Even if we’re planning a small ceremony with our closest friends and family, we look forward to the day and spend months planning everything from the food to the music. We give our wedding day our time, attention, and often, a big chunk of our pay packets. But, if you ask people who have been happily married for 30 years what the secret to a successful marriage is, very few of them will talk about the importance of the wedding day itself.
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Most will talk about their attitudes and lifestyle. If you want your marriage to be a success, here’s a look at five things that it needs, and that it should have on your wedding day.
Fun
Marriage, like any long-term relationship or commitment, will at some point be hard work. There will be tough times to get through, there will be moments of unrest and even boredom. In these moments, it’s often being able to laugh with your partner, being able to bring a lightness to the conversation, and look back on happier times, that get us through.
Starting your marriage with a little fun, whether it’s light-hearted gifts to each other, like these groom socks, a candy bar, or an extra special wedding dance, can get things started on the right foot.
Compromise
It’s unrealistic to think that you and your partner will agree on absolutely everything 100% of the time, for the rest of your lives. In fact, if you did, things might get boring fairly quickly. There will be times when you both need to compromise, when you need to seek solutions that will please everyone, or when you need to let things go.
There’s perhaps a no better time to test how well you can compromise than in the planning of your wedding. Take each other’s feelings and wishes into consideration to plan a day that suits you as a couple.
Shared Values
Yes, compromise is tremendously important. But, some things shouldn’t be compromised. Things that you’ll have strong feelings on, like how you want to raise your children, the importance of extended family, and religious beliefs. You might not be willing to compromise here, so make sure your partner is on the same page before making a big commitment.
Respect
The couples that make things work always respect each other. Even during fights and harder times, they respect their partner for who they are. They are always polite and gracious, and they build each other up, instead of bringing each other down. Make sure the respect is there in the early days, and let it grow as time goes by.
A Special Place
Most couples have a special place, but they don’t always realize it. A special place could be a holiday destination, or it could be a coffee shop or park. Somewhere that you have spent happy times together. A connection to a place like this can help you to reconnect as a couple. Grounding you, taking you away from anything else that’s going on, and reminding you to simply be with each other. This isn’t essential, but it can certainly help.
Starting your marriage on the right foot doesn’t automatically mean that it will last. But, it certainly gives you a great head start, helping you to move forward with love, respect, and fun, working together to create a happy marriage.
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